I am Declaring War on Cellulite
Normally my figure is not something I am too concerned with. No, I’m not a skinny white girl, but I’m not obese, and I’m certainly not unfit or untoned. I have no major issues, and I’m happy to strip off at pretty much the drop of a hat in certain company.
I’m grateful for my strong legs and muscular arms that keep me moving and have carried me on many a force march back in my army days.
There are scars, stretch marks, moles, freckles and a funny patch of skin that’s the wrong colour. None of this concerns me because I figure its just part of who I am.
However, there is one thing that bothers me and it’s the same thing that bothers a lot of women. The dreaded C word.
Cellulite.
So I have decided to declare war on cellulite. Starting today, I’m going to treat my self better and self tan to within an inch of my life in order to get rid of the one thing that I’m paranoid about.
The causes and cures for cellulite vary widely according to the google search I conducted. But most consider it is a result of a combination of factors including toxins, diet, exercise and stress. Apparently there is something to suggest that tight underwear can cause it because it impedes the flow of lymphatic fluids. I don’t wear tight panties so no need to be concerned about that.
While most experts warn that you can’t do anything about cellulite, I think that’s a bunch of garbage. I have a plan to conquer cellulite.
Exercise
Walking 4-5 times per week, 45 mins.
I don’t believe that we should be out there punishing ourselves. Seriously. What is the point of exercising to the point of pain if you’re only going to give up after a week?
Being that I’ve been out of the military for a while, and was never an avid runner, I’m going to start with walking 4-5 times per week. I’m starting orienteering and there are parks near where I live. Eventually I’ll get back to jogging but there’s no running in my future.
Yoga 3-7 times per week
The second part of exercise is yoga, my new love. I do yoga daily to keep my back in good shape. I’m going to add a few moves designed to help shift excess pounds and boost metabolism for good measure.
Food
Abstain from Alcohol
While my significant other isn’t around to ply me with yummy red wine and Jack Daniels.
Green Tea & Water
Increasing water intake can only be a good thing. That’s what we were taught in basic so it must be true. It also helps with the elimination of toxins. Green Tea is some sort of wonder drink so I’ll give that a swing too, but only because I like it.
Sexiness
The bottom line for getting rid of cellulite is pretending you don’t have any. The rules of the universe say that if you want to get something you have to pretend you already have it. So I’m gonna pretend like I have a smooth derriere.
You can get away with a lot if you simply have the confidence to carry it off. Just look at lady gaga. She looks so ridiculous, no one notices her thighs.
So, this means lots of self care. A weekly sauna at the pool as well as regular body scrub and self tan. Finished off with sparkly moisturiser any cellulite left over will be camouflaged. All followed by flaunting my backside whenever I can.
Bring on the Summer! Viva la smooth thighs!
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Great post…you should do a group “C” (I hate saying that word, too) bloggie experiment and have a bunch of us join in with you. (But no before/after pictures por favor, gag me). I might repost on my blog, that ok?
Awesome post….I love it!
Hey that’s a great idea Hana! The more the merrier!
Any suggestions on how to organise something like that?
Not sure, I’ve never done anything like that! Maybe just tweet something about leaving a note if you want to join in, then checking in every week with a blog post. It would be fun, but again, not sure if you want a bunch of butt pics on your site, heehee.
Hey Zoe! Thanks for visiting my site. I put an RSS logo on there. Do you mind checking it out and letting me know if it’s working? I’m certain I put one on already when I did the email subscription but who knows. I am so new to blogging and my mind is on overload. I really apreciate the feedback!
As far as the “C” word. I have it. I am soooo out of shape and I declared to lose some of it starting yesterday. So far so good.
I just blogged about the dreaded “C” word the other day. Yes cellulite is such a bitch! I wholeheartedly agree the best way to get rid of it is to pretend it is not there!
Kimberly
If you put the challenge in your community that is a good way of getting a group together. I also post an idea in a popular community. That is what I did to get help with my menu (not done yet) and other people asked for help too. I haven’t checked out your community to know if you have good numbers. I’m fairly new so mine is small, which is why I posted my wish in a larger community.
I should join this too but my exercise will be different cause it’s way too hot to walk right now. When I visit my friend near the beach I’ll try to get some walking in.
Katharine of Kat’s Almost Purrfect Boutique
http://katspurrfectboutique.blogspot.com
Great post! I hear ya on all fronts. Love the overall theme of your blog, too.
Keep it up
-TRR
Absolutely! And it’s not like it really affects anything other than your self-image. So totally agree if you ignore it, it doesn’t exist and therefore it can’t do any harm to self image
or, more importantly, your sex life!
Thanks for the msg on Twitter. I LOVE the part in this post about just pretending you don’t have any cellulite. Love it!
[...] I am Declaring War on Cellulite | Soldierette [...]
Nice site. Love your “soldierette” attitude!
Nice to meet you, Soldierette! Here from Twitter & SITS. I need a “walking buddy” so to speak….I REALLY should be walking 4-5 times a week for 45 mins. My retail schedule and family schedule makes it crazy, but I am determined to find a way.
I will join that war!
Willing to try anything… but not to give up wine completely
I love it! You’re right. We shouldn’t allow something like cellulite stress us. This is our (latinas) philosophy in life. We feel sexy no matter how big our rear ends are or much cellulite are carrying around. Of course some of us exercise a lot and eat well in order to get rid or stay cellulite free. But in the meantime let’s be happy with where we are.
You’re going about it the right way.
Hey! Your ultimate advice is what I do — ignore it!
I love this post….especially the sexiness….BUT NOT THE ALCOHOL. LOL
It’s a common part of getting older, with at least 90 percent of post-adolescent women developing cellulite, usually in the thighs, buttocks and abdomen. It also has nothing to do with obesity since thin women get cellulite too.
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